Life-all mine

Life is all about how others percieve you and not about how you feel about yourself. If you resist, then at every step you have to except defeat at the mercy of the imperfect world.
I am what people call 'fat', I intend myself to call, in a more polite terms 'chubby'. I hate people who call me that and I tend to hate them more when people use a synonymn instead i.e. 'cute'. The balance thing comes up here. see,this is the truth that,I cannot always look up on my diet and say' I can't eat that, so much calories!', because I am in love with what I eat, and I LOVE EATING, SO COUNTING UP MY CALORIES AT EVERY MEAL IS SIMPLY NOT MY AGENDA. Please people accept that I am simply made up like that. God made me that way, so I can simply make some alterations and that is it. What I can do is, that I should alter my inner self instead. People who go on looks and especially mine, trust me, that cuteness may define just a minor phase of me, not the whole. So know me instead and what I am made of and stop giving me that look which says 'you should feel inferior' because I am NOT.
Those who exercise to stay fit, please do, did I ever stopped you from doing that?
And those blessed ones, who can eat anything and still remain malnutritioned by 'looks'...God bless you!( did you ever saw me mentioning that?)
In reality I have very high esteem of myself in my own eyes and which is enhanced by some special ones in my life, so don't you ever try to mangle that, because next time if I caught you saying something, you will only find me with an expression, which will make you sorry.
So, the statement,'Life is all about how others percieve you and not about how you feel about yourself. If you resist, then at every step you have to except defeat at the mercy of the imperfect world', I intend to change that. &
I WILL...

I just wanted...

I just wanted to hold your hands tight,

and walk a mile without fear,

because you would have been with me,

and the world would never seem that cruel with you.

I just wanted to see you in your eyes,

kiss your forehead and say goodnight,

because I would have been happy,

because of the day spent and the day which lay ahead.

I just wanted to see you smile,

with that angelic curve of your lips,

because it used to be the most beautiful thing in the world,

the very thing that was very addictive.

I just wanted you to accept me,

the cranky me, the stupid me,

the sometimes demonic me,

and to be loved by you the same way I do,if not more.

I just wanted to be your partner,

as a friend when in need,

as the one wiping your tears,

as the one, always by your side.

I just wanted you to be my hero,

always protecting me,

because I don't know how to face people,

always guiding me, because I always respected you.

I just wanted to spend time with you,

to see you scold me, laugh with me,

hold me and watching me cry,

to bring me closer to the love still denied.

I just wanted to love you,

to care for you, to shield you,

because I was so scared to lose you,

but how does it matter, since I have already lost you again...

My Experience...

That for sure is my observation and some inspired one liners...Hope you like them...

1.Guys call you only for two reasons, one when you have called them and they couldn't take your call and the second when they want some work done...(no exceptions)
2.All I care about is ME, because nothing else is worth caring for.
3.Heartbreaks are common, specially when I am  around people.
4. The ultimate fate of a crush is that they tend to get crushed.
5.Never tell somebody your entire story, because it either make you fall in love with him or he gets fed up with you.
6. Listen,process and reflect.That should be done in an ideal condition but sarcasm does not let the conditions very  perfect.
7. Sarcasm is a tool which can be a laugh for you but misery for the other, and that is why I love it.
8. Chicken tastes like heaven when you are having it after a long time and when it is made by your dad.
9.The best lesson that a life teaches you is how to live it, irony is that we are the worst students that it can have.
10.If afer reading this you think I am a BITCH, then its ok because yes I am a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

I love rain...

I love rain...There is this feeling, where you want to get lost, even if you are surrounded by your known,where you just enjoy the smell of the moist soil(I guess many people do..) and where even if you want to cry, your tears are just for you and not for the world( I know it is too overused, but the fact remains the same...)
For me the world seems more greener, as if all its sins are washed out. It gives me that amazing feeling of freedom because of which that elevated bieng of mine gets actually on loose and despite all my efforts, it soars in the sky and sings on top of its voice with its sound unknown. My soul does a complicated yet a beautiful ballet, which is so wonderful to watch...And yet I sit, and think of the world passing by, of the things already gone and the things yet to come...Its freshness is so simple yet so complex to describe.And by just witnessing this beautiful saga of nature, I get reminded of the lone creator, who had such levels of creativity, which we mere humans could never potray.
I dance in the rain...As if a bucketful of happiness was overturned on me...But when I look deep down inside, I get nothing and yet everything...I see that very person, with whom I want to hold hands for the rest of my life.Buried, but still present...And then I close my eyes and listen to the soft thumping of my heart, my ears also notice the soft clatter of the falling drops, reminding me, that they too enjoys my company...
I love the rain..And I want that when I die, it should rain heavily that day.So that my ashes cool down before my soul departs, because it will give me time to look at you for long...Long enough, for the very last time...

With words unspoken,
I see myself cry,

Tears falling from my eyes,

I wipe them with love denied.

I see it pass,
I watch it going slow,

I hear it like rippling water,

I won’t let it go.

It’s near to me,

Still it’s too far,

It is right inside me,

And still so much beyond my reach.

Its pain,

And then I cry again,

Because I can bear your absence,

But not your presence, making me insane.

I hide my tears,

I fight it with my anger,

I cover them with my fake smiles,

But still I want to show them to you.

I just want one thing,

And only one thing in this world,

I want your love,

Because nothing else matters.

I know I can’t force you,

I know you can’t be moved,

But still I wait in hope,

Hoping that before my hope ends, I end.

I am scared.

Of the things you understand,

And the things you don’t,

I fear, I do not know you.

I dread of what is inside you...

Because it’s unseen, at least by me.

But I know, even without your consent,

What you safely conceal.

I just want to make you feel,

You are beautiful.

I just want to hold your hand and say,

You are perfect.

I hate you,

I hate the fact that I can’t stop loving you,

I hate it, when things are beyond my control,

I hate it, because for me there is no going back.

What is love?

Na...I am not researching on this particular subject, but believe me; if anybody has guts to do to...Then seriously hats off to him...Come on!!!!

I tell you what love is....’It is that hyper activity state created by the combination of your mind and body, where brain doesn’t seek logic and heart doesn’t mind speed...Once you fall in the gravity less valley of love, there is no coming back..By gravity less I meant, that amazingly enormous pit where even though you have fallen, still you feel, you are on the top of the world...It has the tendency to cut you in pieces and still you are content about it..It may make you warm and cold at the same time...Cries and laughs, at the same instant...But the fact remains the same, however bad or good your day is, still you have a person out there whom you love passionately, sincerely and heart stoppingly, wishing every moment of your life that how special you would feel, if you received the same amount of love back...
Love is that emotion, that seems bigger than anything else in this world...Be it exams, assignments, friends, or whatever...You may call it a cancer increasing at an exponential rate, increases still, with every phone call you make, with every moment you share and with every smile you get..For you that person, matters the most, to an extent that with every good word spoken is your cherished memory and every fight you make is a bad dream...There is this line which I really liked, when I first time read it in a book.."I am not mad in love...But I love her madly...”Obviously the author was a guy...
In love, you want to hug him and want to look into his eyes and say "I love you", cry for him and still want to show him your tears, laugh at him and still say you are not stupid, get angry with him on text messages but when you hear his voice, all your anger is washed down the drain..You tend to walk, with every morsel of fear, thinking what would happen if he stopped talking to you or what it would be like of not having him in your life?
Love is, when you start hating that very girl of whom he ever talks about...And despise every guy who is a competition to him...He is flawless for you, even though he is human..And with every mistake he makes, you love him many times more...It is that feeling that gives immense amount of pain, but still you feel happy receiving it..'
I think my explanation is like a summarised answer written on an answer sheet, that answer of which you are totally unsure about... Hope it gives you a clear idea (but it hasn’t to me) whether LOVE is a notion, creation, emotion or crime??
So tell me what exactly is love???
Waiting for your answers...

The things I like...

The good sleep under tons of blankets, during winter...



The fragrance of incense sticks and the sound of the early namaz at the same time...


The misty sky, for which the word ‘beautiful’ is an understatement...


The blend of that perfect blue, tangy orange and the best yellow on it,that no artist could ever portray...


The turning of the sunflower towards the sun, much in the same way I turn towards you...


The flying of pigeons in unison, following an unfaltering pattern...


The sound of your voice, happily enumerating how your day sucked...


The warm taste of chocolate, after i have cried your heart out, with no fault of mine...


The scene when the rain meets the unlimited soil, hugging it as tightly as it can...


The scolding of my mom, showing the amount of care with every increasing decibel...


The success of doing that work, which i thought to impossible to be done by me (cooking)...


The infinite (raise to the power infinity) love of papa, accepting me the way I am...


The full moon, with stars as its partners, in the endless velvety sky...


The food on the table, my favourite, emitting its mouth watering aroma...


The imagination of how you might look like, when I’ll say I love you...